But seriously, folks, I decided to (and my wife let me) buy the Les Paul, leaving the 30 day guarantee to deal with the VA purchasing system. It's a wonderful instrument. I gave it a couple hours test drive today. Heck. Maybe I can find my chops after all.
Oh yes, Cradrevocsid, the Lady of Lake Taneycomo, also gave me two golden tablets with clear and easy-to-understand instructions on how we humans can live together in complete harmony. Unfortunately, I uh... lost them.